i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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