I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
whose ass print is on the piano?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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