I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize