I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
In America we eat man semen.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
