I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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