I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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