Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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