dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
