Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
