it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
