If i come over, it means nothing
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
