I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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