do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize