u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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