So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize