awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
