About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
