Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im six kinds of drunk right now
this boner is exhausting
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
