Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
