Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
