If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This is the high leading the old right now
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
