Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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