there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
