why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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