I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
