I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
