Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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