dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
