maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
