I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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