how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
