you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
