JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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