Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
