Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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