He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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