There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
