how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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