His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
