so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
