I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
