When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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