no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize