her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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