The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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