They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
