i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
