Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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