So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
