Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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