my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
