I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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