Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize