haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
