He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sobbing to NWA
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