I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
