i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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