I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
