what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
