i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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