getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
