Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
