Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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