You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
