at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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